A Post to my Sick Kitty

Hi everyone. It's almost 6am in the morning and I can no longer sleep. Saturday was a horrible day and I woke up today with the desire to write. This post is not Fun, Fit, or Chic, but I feel the need to write about this and the need to add it to Google searches about sick pets.

Four days ago something changed in my household. My typically loud, chatty, happy, and cuddly one year old cat became introverted, quiet, and slowly started to back away from us.

I began spending a lot more time with her and petting her and loving her because I thought maybe she was jealous of the time we were not spending at home or perhaps she was going through some type of depression. We recently moved around our furniture and I thought that was affecting her.

Then she stopped eating. I started hand feeding her and that helped a bit but once I had to start carrying her to her dish, I knew something was wrong. On Friday, I took her to her vet. 

He immediately noticed that her heart rate was very low for a cat. My heart sank. My poor girl was slowing down and she was still a kitty. He also said he felt a mass in her abdomen but he really couldn't determine what was going on. He sent a blood sample, urine sample for testing and also ordered a liver function test.

I took her home. I tried my best to give her as much love as possible but the truth is that she wanted little to do with me. When cats are sick, they want to be left alone and they tend to hide. That's what she was doing. I couldn't watch my poor cat suffer like this. I began walking the water bowl to her and she would take little sips. Then, I decided that she just had to eat. I thought that if she just ate something she would feel better. For as long as I have had her (6 months) and for as long as her previous owners had her (6 months), Cinnamon has eaten high-grade food. In her previous home, she ate Wellness. In my home she had Natural Balance and then Weruva Cats in the Kitchen. She never tasted any of the junkie cat foods that people call "kitty crack."

I went to CVS and purchased Fancy Feast. I opened it up and she hesitated but after she smelled it, she ate it. I thought I had conquered something and somehow, I was going to have my healthy cat back. Inside of me, I just felt like if she had eaten this food than she must have not been THAT SICK.

At 9am on Saturday morning is when my nightmare began. I received a call from her vet, Dr. Scott Lukow. He has been her vet since she was in the other home. He received the results from her lab work and things looked "interesting." Cinnamon's globulin levels were high. For a normal cat, they are 2 -5. My cat's levels were a 9.25. Globulins help fight off inflammation. Perhaps she is trying to fight off the mass in her tummy BUT what can that mass be? He told me there were two things it could be and neither were good options.

  1. FIP - Feline Infectious Peritonitis
  2. Cancer

I requested more blood work to test for FIP to confirm. This call occurred right before a Zumba class. I had to run into a dance studio and put on my happy face. It hurt. I wasn't getting lab results until Tuesday.

When I finally made it home, I didn't find Cinnamon greeting me at the front door. Instead, she was laying on my bed. She looked alert and happy to see me. Her eyes were HUGE. When I started petting her, she started this very faint and sad purr. It wasn't loud. It was more like a humming sound. I laid next to her, with my head on her forehead and I cried.

I tried to feed her more of the Fancy Feast and she refused. I tried giving her an appetite stimulant and she refused. I decided that she just HAD to go to an animal hospital. If I kept her home, Cinnamon wasn't going to make it until Tuesday to get the results. I packed her up again and headed to the Animal Specialty Center in Yonkers. It's a 24-hour hospital with a really nice staff.

Dr. Wagner walked in and we started talking. After she saw Cinnamon, she told me her heart rate was once again VERY slow. She also noticed the mass. We decided that she needed a sonogram and IV fluids. I was leaving Cinnamon alone in a hospital and THAT hurt like hell BUT never as much as the phone call I received at 7:15pm that day.

Cinnamon was going into heart failure. Her heart was not accepting the IV fluids and the doctor was having trouble keeping her stable. The "mass" was definitely inflammation and in the doctor's mind, she felt as it was confirming FIP or it could be lymphoma. We decided she would stay overnight and the doctor would try her best to give Cinnamon some nutrients. I needed to consider the possibility of putting her down.

It's 6am and I haven't heard from the doctor. I don't know if that is a good sign or a bad sign but at this point, I don't want to know yet. I had to put my dog of 17 years to sleep a couple of years back and its the worst experience ever. I promised Cinnamon I would be her mom for 15+ years. I can't believe that its 6 months into having her and this is where we are.

If it is FIP, I have no choice. It's a fatal disease. It's a horrible disease. Most cats carry the virus (Feline Coronavirius) that causes it but for most cats, it won't mutate into FIP. Why my beautiful, loving, caring, and cuddly kitty? I felt so lucky to have found her. All I wanted was a lap cat, a cat that wanted to play, and a cat that would want to receive all of my love. Cinnamon is my baby and it's unfair that she may be taken away from me.

I am so hurt. I did everything right as a pet owner. I cared for her. I barely left her alone. I played with her more than an hour a day. She ate the best food on the market. She had a scratching post, various windows to "hunt" birds, a cat tree, toys, dental treats . . . . EVERYTHING! And if its FIP, NONE of that matters. Even if she bounces back tonight, it's not long until she will pass.

I never imagined this and I just want to hold her again.

I want her to interrupt my work by laying all over my papers and computer.

I want her to lay on top of the boyfriend as he is playing with video games because she is jealous.

I want to walk into the living room and find that my boyfriend has fallen asleep with his babe.

I want to catch her in the bedroom up to NO GOOD.

I want to play silly games with her and annoy her to the point where she smacks my hand and walks away because she is tired of me.

I want to find her in the shoe box,

or in her cat condo,

or laying next to me, starting the all night cuddle session.

Most importantly, I'd like to bring her home and keep loving her for another 15+ years. [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qLU6shi-Pk]Love unconditionally. Play constantly. Cuddle often. Actions I learned from the best kitty ever. Actions do speak louder than words. Cinnamon, your health is on my mind. I pray for a miracle, your best interest, and my sanity.